Would this work (or am I missing something)?
If the two tanks have the same water level (and all things being equal), you can just use a simple tube siphon with ends (filtered, if needed) that are set at the level where you want the equalization to stop.
Water flow will always go from the higher level tank to the lower one (whichever tank it may be).
Then when you dont want equalization (or to isolate the tanks), just remove the tube.
In case the water level falls below any end point of the tube, the siphon will simply stop (but it is easy to re-start anyway).
In the event that the tanks are NOT of the same level, then just put a bucket (or some form of buffer) at the proper level (with respect to the higher tank), and make sure that the tube end (and the original feed to the lower tube) flows in it, and that water then overflows properly into the lower tank.
With this approach, you can still get equal inflow to both tanks (even if they are of different levels) by simply increasing the capacity of the buffer/bucket to that of the expected volume.
Just a suggestion.
